What would make 2021 worse than 2020? How about a zombie apocalypse?
Some are claiming that French philosopher Nostradamus predicted that a zombie apocalypse for 2021, pointing to the following passage that he supposedly wrote: “Few young people: half−dead to give a start. Dead through spite, he will cause the others to shine, And in an exalted place some great evils to occur: Sad concepts will come to harm each one, Temporal dignified, the Mass to succeed.”
It’s not completely clear whether Nostradamus, otherwise known as Michel de Nostredame, actually predicted a zombie apocalypse for this year. Attempts to contact Nostradamus were unsuccessful, probably because he lived in the 1500’s.
If you thought the U.S. was caught unprepared for a Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic, imagine what would happen should a zombie apocalypse occur. Would political leaders try to minimize the problem, claiming that becoming a rotting corpse is not so bad or that the apocalypse was “rounding the corner?” Would people push for a “herd immunity” strategy in which the country just allows the apocalypse to happen? After all, just letting everyone become a zombie can solve so many problems such as wondering what to wear each day and potential toilet paper shortages. Would there be problems developing and rolling out a test for zombie-ness, such as asking a person, “are you a zombie?”
Well, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) does offer a Zombie Preparedness guide. For example, they recommend having an emergency kit in your house. And that doesn’t mean just a stash of avocado toast and tequila. Instead, the CDC recommends having the following items in your apartment or home:
- Water: Store at least one gallon per person per day. Of course, that could mean over a 1000 gallons should a real zombie apocalypse occur.
- Food: These should be non-perishable items otherwise you may be quite disappointed when you need them. Make sure that the food covers enough food groups and is as healthy as possible. After a while, eating nothing but marshmallow Peeps could cause problems.
- Medications: These should be prescription and non-prescription medication that you may need. Note a stash of nothing but Viagra may not be so helpful during a zombie apocalypse.
- Tools and Supplies: The CDC suggests having things like a utility knife, duct tape, and a battery powered radio. A smartphone may not be as useable should the cellular network and Internet go down. Keep in mind that most battery powered radios can’t take selfies.
- Sanitation and Hygiene: Examples include soap, towels, and household bleach, which, by the way, you should not inject into your body.
- Clothing and Bedding: These should include clothes you would normally wear.
- Important documents: The CDC mentions your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate. A Starbuck’s loyalty card and a Avengers membership card would probably not be useful during a Zombie apocalypse.
- First Aid supplies: The CDC does warn that a Band-aid won’t do a whole lot for a zombie bite.
These items could be useful for many types of emergencies, such as a flood or earthquake, not just a zombie apocalypse. The CDC also suggests establishing an emergency plan with your family. This includes identifying the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. If you can only come up with a zombie apocalypse and hot dog shortage, think harder. Unless you live on Sesame Street with Mr. Snuffleupagus, every location has a set of possible major disasters. You should also pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case you can’t stay in your home. A third suggestion is identify your emergency contacts. This list should include more than just Justin Bieber. The police, the fire department, your doctor, and Milla Jovovich are good people to have on your list. A fourth recommendation from the CDC is plan your evacuation route. Know where to go to get out of town quickly.
The CDC does say that it’s Zombie Preparedness website began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign. So the CDC isn’t saying that a zombie apocalypse will happen in 2021 or anytime soon. Of course, a zombie apocalypse could result in many tongues being in people’s cheeks, whether those cheeks are in the face or the behind.